enhanced puzzlement

followup to this

The people who've been kind enough to respond to this post have been informing me that my reaction doesn't have to be controlled by the victims' response. Well I knew that. Only one of them has insistently doubled down on the observation that, not only am I free to do anything I want to do, I'm free to do anything I've already said that I don't want to do. This is not helpful, and indeed I find it morally obtuse.

This is not about my feelings about the incident. I'm appalled, shattered, dismayed, and very sad. It's about the practical question of, what exactly should I do about it? The thing that I don't want to do is express a reaction through a towering anger far greater than that of the actual victims of the actual crime. I've seen that position in cases of this kind before, and I find that very problematic. (This doesn't work the other way around, by the way. Vengeance and mercy are not commutative.)

I'm trying to tread carefully here, and what an appropriate response might be is guided - not controlled, but triangulated - by what other people find appropriate. So here we have a situation where the broadcaster feels it necessary to say that the victims specifically desire that no action be taken against the perpetrator. And then he immediately says that he's going to boycott, which seems at first glance to be the exact opposite of the advice he's just passed on. He's free not to follow it, of course, but he doesn't even address the question. There's a cognitive dissonance here that leaves me quite uncertain of what kind of a response to make.

how it works

sequel to this

So this week I try a different outlet of the chain store for my pickup.

1. Drive in, park in the designated space, phone (as instructed). They say they'll be right out.

2. There's one other driver and car in one of the designated spaces as I arrive. Soon, someone comes and puts groceries in his car. But he doesn't leave. Curious, I think.

3. Twenty minutes pass. I phone again. I can't make out what they say about why they haven't come earlier, but they say they'll be right out. Which they had said twenty minutes ago.

4. Ten minutes pass. A deliverer comes out - and puts groceries in two other cars which arrived long after I did.

5. I put my mask on and get out. I ask him, what about my groceries? He says he thinks they were accidentally given to somebody else and he's going to check on that.

6. Sure enough, he goes over to the car from step 2 and takes out the groceries and brings them to my car. This includes, by the way, ice cream sandwiches which have been sitting in the hot trunk for nearly half an hour.

7. It's only about half of what I ordered. I point this out. He goes back in and, without too much delay, brings out the rest. The car from step 2, by the way, is still there. He's having an even worse day of it than I am.

8. It's a longer drive home than from the other store I gave up on after last week, and all the stoplights are red.