no thank you

I've occasionally heard women snort in amusement that they've received spam e-mails for penis enlargers.

I've just received one for a breast pump.

rule

If you call and announce that you're from some sort of research firm, and then ask if you may speak to my B., whom you tellingly call by the formal form of her name which she never uses, my answer will invariably be, "No, you may not."