of a friend

[calimac]

wild_irises posts in memoriam for onyxlynx, who died last week.

Of her nature and character you can read there. Here I will just say that I feel wounded. She was one of those people who brought texture to my life. I like the word "indirect" that wild_irises uses; that was how I experienced her communication, and it was something you got used to. I felt honored that she was my DW friend, and we went on communicating in that same indirect way that I'd first learned when we were in an apa together in the late 70s. I found that staying up late in a bleary haze was the best state to appreciate her writing and to respond appropriately. This broadens and stretches the mind, children.

Of course she used a different name in apas than she did offline. Nor did she litter her online journal with clues to her identity either; figuring out who this onyxlynx person was was just part of the fun.

We both disliked dogs. We both disliked potatoes. We may have been the only ones.

I'd sometimes come across her among the niches at the Garden of Memory concert - she's the Tall Black Woman whom I'd report having seen there - and we'd converse there in that happenstantial way of casual occasional friends. She thanked me for posting a reminder of this summer's concert and planned to be there, but alas it did not happen and she sent regrets. And that was the last ...

Comments

[wild_irises]

Thanks for this.

I should have mentioned potatoes. She also disliked almost all chocolate.

I never tried "staying up late in a bleary haze," but perhaps I will when I reread.

[athenais]

The one time she came to our place in Palo Alto we had to put our dog Dixie in the back yard. I had never met anyone who was actually afraid of dogs before. She was unable to be near one.

[davidgoldfarb]

One of my co-workers dislikes potatoes, but likes sweet potatoes. French fries made from sweet potato are fairly readily available in these parts (Texas, perhaps the South generally).

[calimac]

I differ from her in having learned to accept being around dogs who are quiet and mind their own business. But aggressive ones, even aggressively friendly ones, unnerve me, and I wish to swiftly remove myself from their presence.

However, the problems I have with aggressive dogs are not with the dogs themselves so much as with their owners.

[calimac]

I have seen these around here also. However, while I'm willing to nibble on the burnt ends of regular French fries if drenched in ketchup, I won't touch sweet potatoes or yams in any form.