unenchanted

We watched the film Enchanted last night, and I found it rather disappointing. Sure, the premise is clever and ingenious, and Amy Adams makes an impossible role work, though that shouldn't be too surprising if you've seen Junebug, where she plays basically the same spunky character with a more worldly background.

But otherwise it was yet another ho-hum dreary run-of-the-mill hack fantasy movie. The characters have no romantic chemistry, leading to an ending that feels more polyamorous than conventionally pair-bonding, which I doubt was the intended effect. The scene where the beasts and bugs of New York City clean the apartment was absolutely creepy, and I'm not sure that was the intended effect either. The actors are ineptly directed. Patrick Dempsey is pathetic. James Marsden is under-utilized. Susan Sarandon chews scenery, but is underfed. Timothy Spall plays Peter Pettigrew again. The chipmunk gets old fast. The songs are almost as dire as their performances at the Oscars had led me to believe. The plot is wayward and full of motivational and strategic holes that could perhaps be filled, but that's the problem: you'd have to fill them. The climax includes the sine qua non of bad fantasy movies, scenes in which the actors stand around staring blankly at blue screens not yet filled with overblown special effects battles.

Look, I know it's possible to make a perfect fairy tale movie. It's called Shrek. If you can't play in that league, don't call on me.