Surely my rewriting, incompetent as fiction though it undoubtably is, couldn't be characterized as "a plodding introduction through" this "and then" that "and then" something else.
And I don't want "plodding" anything, descriptive or non-descriptive. I mentioned Westlake: he has more description and introduction than anyone else, much of it completely superfluous, yet it's sprightly and delightful to read.
I'd have to say that jumping from a (presumed) police station to a living room in the middle of a paragraph, disembodied arms waving around, guns that jump into people's hands without having been picked up - this is more than disorienting.
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Date: 2007-09-25 06:02 am (UTC)And I don't want "plodding" anything, descriptive or non-descriptive. I mentioned Westlake: he has more description and introduction than anyone else, much of it completely superfluous, yet it's sprightly and delightful to read.
I'd have to say that jumping from a (presumed) police station to a living room in the middle of a paragraph, disembodied arms waving around, guns that jump into people's hands without having been picked up - this is more than disorienting.