Um, there are a few things here that I think you just get factually wrong. Both womzilla and I do recall Veruca asking for an Oompa-Loompa, though we don't see her whine about it at length. She is definitely shown sliding between the horizontal bars of the gate, which an adult couldn't do. (Her father could have asked a kid to rescue her, but it doesn't totally surprise me that he didn't think of it, and no one but Charlie would have done so anyway.) The "hacking the game" doesn't need to be followed up on, because it's explained in the scene in which the kid is interviewed for the news: he used his computers to figure out where a gold ticket would be. That combination of hubris and technological knowledge is the hallmark of his personality, and it does lead to his fate.
Then there is stuff which is arguable, but I think the good arguments are on the other side. I really liked the argument over whether the Oompa Loompas could spontaneously come up with the song, because that and other things to me hinted that Willie Wonka either had preternatural powers or set the whole thing up somehow, or both. The "other things" were often his reactions when things happened to kids--I thought a lot more of the direction and acting than you did. I thought it was subtle but implied many interesting things. Whereas Wilder's WW just didn't actively stop the kids or help get them out of trouble, that seemed more complex with Depp's.
Other points on which we disagree, I think, are more matters of taste. I'd certainly take your word for it that the action didn't match the use of Also Sprach Zarathustra well, but I was so bust laughing over the extended 2001 reference that I wouldn't have noticed even if I were more attuned to that kind of thing. And I really liked the grandfather's leap out of bed. I do agree that the film was slower than I had expected, but it didn't seem a bad thing to me.
The main thing we agree about is the ending. How post-1980s, therapy nation! As I told W. and supergee right after the film, I would have been much happier had WW stayed traumatized but decided he needed Charlie to make good candy, and so put up grudgingly with Charlie's ulp, urp, parents living in the factory. It reminded me of the end of the movie of Stephen King's Needful Things, though not as much of a travesty--at least both endings of Charlie were happy, whereas NT turned a debacle into a happy ending.
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Then there is stuff which is arguable, but I think the good arguments are on the other side. I really liked the argument over whether the Oompa Loompas could spontaneously come up with the song, because that and other things to me hinted that Willie Wonka either had preternatural powers or set the whole thing up somehow, or both. The "other things" were often his reactions when things happened to kids--I thought a lot more of the direction and acting than you did. I thought it was subtle but implied many interesting things. Whereas Wilder's WW just didn't actively stop the kids or help get them out of trouble, that seemed more complex with Depp's.
Other points on which we disagree, I think, are more matters of taste. I'd certainly take your word for it that the action didn't match the use of Also Sprach Zarathustra well, but I was so bust laughing over the extended 2001 reference that I wouldn't have noticed even if I were more attuned to that kind of thing. And I really liked the grandfather's leap out of bed. I do agree that the film was slower than I had expected, but it didn't seem a bad thing to me.
The main thing we agree about is the ending. How post-1980s, therapy nation! As I told W. and